“When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!”
This week isn’t turning out to be the best of weeks for me. When it rains, it pours…and I feel so emotionally and physically drained.
This week (and some of last week), my allergies have acted up a lot more than usual, so I’m having (occasionally, and always at night) what I call “allergy attacks” where both sides of my nose seem to stop up to where I can’t breath; it feels different from the usual stuff nose you get when you have a cold. It’s hard to explain, and no matter how deep of a breath I draw, I don’t feel like it’s a nice, refreshing breath of air. I went to my ENT doctor yesterday morning for my yearly visit, and she said a lot of her mold patients are having more trouble than usual due to the massive amounts of rain we’ve been having (mixed with our wonderful humidity). But why does it only seem to happen at night – before I even go to bed?
I haven’t felt good physically the past 2 days either – mainly my stomach. I feel so psychically drained. And it could be a number of reasons. It could be allergy symptoms from the Candida crap (or mold outside). It could be that I ate really shitty on Tuesday (but why do I still feel bad today?). It could be that I’m upset about something going on personally right now. Or it could be that my body just might be fighting a possible infection of some sort. It was everything I could do to finish a small breakfast this morning, and today’s lunch consists of Progresso’s chicken noodle soup with saltine crackers, though I am feeling better now than how I felt this morning. The icky stomach feeling comes and goes throughout the day.
My instincts tell me it has to do with what I am dealing with personally right now, which started Tuesday afternoon. I am trying not to let things bother me to the point where I slip back into last week’s rut. So I am trying to focus on what I need to do and just do it. But when something really upsets me or worries me, that’s all I seem to be able to focus on. Nothing else gets done until the issue is resolved, and I know this is a huge flaw on my part that I want to work on. When I am super upset (not mad, but just worried to death about something), I’ve had a hard time eating in the past and my stomach has given me issues like it is now. I’m trying hard right now to not be so worried/upset and to just focus on my routine, but I am concerned about the end result and how it might affect my near future. 🙁 I just hate not knowing…
I just have to focus and get my work done and stay on course and hope for the best. One of those courses is exercise. No matter how much I don’t want to do it, I have to. And I have done some type of exercise now every day this week. Monday, I went to the lake and walked/ran 4 laps around the lake, which I clocked at 3.55 miles. It took me 59 minutes and 36 seconds. Tuesday was aerobics at the gym, and yesterday, I actually had a small urge to go back to the lake and do another 4 laps. My goal is to continually beat my time for the 3.55 miles, incorporating more and more running segments into the walking/jogging. And I just really needed to get out of the house and feel something besides blah and disappointment. I definitely felt something alright: my calves and legs screaming at me in pain, along with my lungs (never been much of a runner). But it’s better than blah. And it made me feel better for the time being. I beat my time by 1 minute, 31 seconds! I finished the 3.55 miles in 58 minutes & 5 seconds. I refuse to let go of my goal to lose a decent amount of weight before the cold, winter months get here. So, even though it was everything I could do to finish my breakfast this morning, and I didn’t feel good, I still went to Zumba. I didn’t do well at all (physically dragging), but at least I still burned 552 calories. I just hope I feel better tomorrow so I can do another 3.55 miles around the lake.
On the up side, since I have been focusing a lot more on work this week, I have finally resolved a few of the issues I was having with one website in particular. So that made me feel like I’ve accomplished something worthwhile with it. I’m going to work on that some more today and see how much further I can get… Gotta keep swimming…